I’m Rafa Alenda,founder of A Midlife Lived.

I work with men in midlife who look fine on the outside but feel unsettled underneath. Not in crisis. Just aware that something deserves attention. I’ve spent most of my life navigating transitions. Born in Spain, raised in England, now living in California. I earned my BA and MBA from UC Berkeley and spent 20 years in tech marketing building brands, leading teams, and staying very busy. Eventually, I hit pause. What followed wasn’t a dramatic reinvention. It was loss, reflection, and a long stretch of not knowing what was next. That experience is the backbone of this work. Today, I help men slow down enough to hear themselves again. I ask good questions, reflect what I hear, and help turn insight into action that fits real life. I’m also a dad to three sons and the human sidekick to a bulldog named Doug, who believes meetings are optional but snacks are not.